


youre a wreck (but I want you anyway)

by sapphicwonder



Series: Will You Catch Me? [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Basically this one and the next one will be relatively short and setting up for the last, Cheating, F/F, I just thought of this over the day, Other characters maybe? Idk, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Pre-Talon Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix, There will be two other installments to this series, and the last one will be the longest on-going one, like writing a prequel, this is just for background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-14 19:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14775471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicwonder/pseuds/sapphicwonder
Summary: Dr. Ziegler doesn't do love lives, she doesn't have the time. She doesn't have friends, either. She has her work, and the family she's found within overwatch. And that was okay for her.Until she met Amelie.The first installment of "Will You Catch Me." pre-Talon Amelie and Angela friendship evolving into something more.





	1. Chapter 1

“Dr. Zielger?”

Angela startled out of the half-sleep she had found herself in at her desk. Some papers went flying, a pen was stuck to her face, and she blurrily looked up at whoever was at the front of her desk.

“I’m so sorry!” She gasped, moving to pick up the fallen papers while the blonde haired doctor downed her lukewarm coffee. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to reply, and had her breath stolen.

_ She’s beautiful. _

She was entranced, hairs out of her pony tail framing her face messily and face red from being pressed against the desk. The woman, with silky black hair and long legs and soft features was staring at the doctor with concern and she shook her head.

“I apologize, I guess I dozed off. Would you like to take a seat, dear?” She extends her hand towards the chair in front of her desk while she straightens things on her desk with the other. “What can I do for you?”

The beauty sat, albeit tentatively. “Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, I was hoping you could tell me where I could find my husband? Gerard Lacroix.”

Bells dinged in Angela’s mind.  _ The ballerina wife he talks so fondly about. I can see why.  _ “Of course dear, I’ll lead you to him.” In a pace that made the other woman blink, Angela had her black framed glasses and lab coat donned, a clipboard in hand. With her other, she gestured toward the door. “Shall we?”

* * *

An hour and a half later and plans to go out to dinner with both Amelie and Gerard (on them, they insisted) later in the week, and Angela was officially wiped. She collapsed against her office door and sat at her desk, going about arranging papers and approving requests. Another from Ana, to utilize her biotic rifle blueprint. She sighs, frustrated, and denies it once again. Reaching for her cup of coffee without looking up, she went to take a sip and frowned, realizing it was empty. She sat back in her chair and rubbed her temples, exhausted from the week that had barely begun. It would be awhile.

Four cups of coffee and stacks of paperwork and emails later, and Angela hasn’t left her office. A knock on her door (that she knows by heart after years of working with him) makes her slightly more alert, but she doesn’t look up.

“Come in,” she calls.

Jack Morrison steps through the door and looks at her with a frown, noting the coffee she is taking sips of. “Hey, Angela.”

Sighing, she removes her glasses and places down her coffee cup. “Yes, Jack?”

He scratches the back of his neck lightly. “Angela, when was the last time you slept?”

Bristling, she takes another sip of her coffee. “I dozed off last night.”

“Cut the shit, Angela. You’ve been holed up in here since your evac mission last night and haven’t slept since before that.”

Jack’s harsh answer startled her, and she frowned softly. “Jack, I told you not to worry about me. I am a doctor, you know. People need me.”

As he opens his mouth, her phone rings. “Like I said,” she adds. “People need me.”

Her friend of many years stands stubbornly while she talks someone through a complicated medical procedure through the phone, while sending diagrams and digital visuals. Eventually the call ends, and she sighs, the professional persona leaving and her body slouching.

“See, Angela! This is what I mean. You’re exhausted,” he insists. “How many cups of coffee have you even had?”

She downs the rest of her current cup, and stands up, planting her hands on the desk. “We won’t have this argument again, Jack,” she warns. “I will not be asleep when others need me!”

He softens his voice and rubs the soft stubble on his chin. “Angela, if you’re always helping others, who is going to help you? You just- you’re not taking care of yourself properly. You hardly sleep, you live off of coffee and bits of food, and you run yourself ragged trying to keep everything together-”

Angela slams her hands down on the desk, leaning up to her strike commander. “I am doing my job, Jack. And until this affects it, this is none of your concern. I am-” she pauses, leaning over his shoulder before shrinking down and placing her glasses back on before sitting. “It appears I have a guest. If that’s all, Strike Commander Morrison, you may leave.”

Jack shoots her a look between frustration and sympathy before exiting the room and not sparing a glance to the woman waiting to enter Angela’s room.

“Having a sparring match with Jack again? I’ll hold him this time.” Captain Amari’s voice held warmth in it as it always had for Angela and instantly relaxed her shoulders.

“Ja, laugh all you want Ana.” She muttered the words but they held no real weight as she stood up and moved around the office. Ana stood in her doorway, unsure, arms crossed before Angela turned to her. “Was there something you needed?”

“Has Jack been harping on you for a reason?”

The stiffness from before immediately entered the doctor’s body once again. “Ana, he’s exaggerating. I’m performing my function perfectly well and I’m fine.”

The second-in-command released a sigh, rubbing a hand over her face. “Angela, please. Take care of yourself, okay? You’re just as important as your patients.”

The blondes face crumpled at her statement, and she quickly turned back to what she was doing. It was rare she let herself stop to think about being important. Growing up an orphan of the first Omnic War, it wasn’t like she had much time to or family to encourage her.

Ana’s combat boots made steady noise as she walked towards Angela, giving her a good few inches on her anyway. She pulled her friend into a hug and held her overly stressed friend while she cried. A sigh left Ana as she wondered how to get the doctor to take care of herself. Sometimes, she forgets that Angela truly is young still, having joined them at the age of twenty.

* * *

 

Later, after Ana wiped Angela’s tears and made her promise to have a cup of tea and get off base for some off-time with her, she was organizing her desk. A knock on her door sounds she beckons whoever is knocking in.

“Good evening, Doctor Ziegler. Is this a bad time? I’m sure you’re having dinner soon-”

The soft french voice flows to Angela’s ears and she silently curses. Of course the cute  _ married  _ woman makes a repeat appearance. Putting on her doctor persona, she smiles. “No dear, of course not. Come in, come in,” she says, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk.

“So, dear, what can I do for you?”

She fidgets with her bracelet before looking up, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I wanted to see if you would have lunch with me.” Seeing Angela’s confused expression, she hurries on.

“Well you see, Gerard and I recently moved to be closer to the base and I just thought- perhaps we could have lunch together? I don’t know the area well.”

Everything inside Angela is screaming, telling her not to do this, but she can’t bring herself to say no to those soft eyes and melodic voice. “I’d love to, Amelie, we can set up-”

An alarm starts blaring, and Angela becomes Dr. Ziegler. There are soldiers and task force members entering her room with the evac medics bringing in the wounded. Quickly donning her lab coat and gloves. “What do we have?” She asks as they place one of the wounded soldiers onto one of her hospital cots in the spacious office.

One of the evac responders answers. “No fatalities, mostly non-fatal injuries. The only one who’s horribly wounded is-”

“ _ Lena!” _ The words leave her mouth in a hoarse rush, hurrying over to the unconscious girl. “No, no, no,” she mutters while assessing the situation. “You’re not going anywhere, liebling.”

Lena Oxton is bleeding from a wound in her side, paler than anything, but chronal accelerator intact. “Thank god,” she breathes, ripping open the shirt on Lena’s side to get a better look. “Bullet passed through… hit an artery…”

With shaking hands unlike with any other patient, Angela found a syringe of her nanobots and gently inserted them into Lena. She cleaned up the wound and began stitching the artery while it fused itself, and the outside wound. With no time to spare, Angela fluttered from soldier to soldier, tending to wounds and prescribing medication.

Eventually, the only sound was Lena’s soft breathing in the infirmary and the sudden sobs that wracked through her body when she collapsed onto her office chair. Looking up, she was startled to see Amelie was still in her office, sitting on a chair.

“Amelie?”

“Hm? Oh, yes Dr. Ziegler? Are you alright?”

Momentarily lost in the caring tone and beautiful eyes, she shook it off. “Yes, yes, it’s just..” she looked over at Lena’s sleeping form through the window. “She’s a new recruit. Very important to us all, though. We love her very deeply. Always so reckless, though…”

A thought occurred to her, and she frowned. “What are you doing here, still? It’s been hours.”

Amelie shrugged. “Well, Gerard is out on a mission, and.. This was more exciting than sitting at home drinking wine.”

Angela softly laughed. “I suppose you have a point. I need another cup of coffee, however, so I’ll be right bac-”

“Oh no you don’t,” Amelie interrupts. “No more coffee, Dr. Ziegler. Have you seen yourself? You’re dead on your feet.”

Groaning, the blonde woman ran a hand through her already tousled hair. “Mein gott, you sound like Jack,” she muttered.

“Do you have a living quarters here?” Amelie inquired, searching the office for a door that may lead into another room.

Sensing that this woman was stubborn, she sighed and pointed to the right. She left the room with Amelie behind her, who let out a soft gasp.

Turning, she raised an eyebrow. Amelie flushed.

“Well, you just have so much stuff here, Dr. Ziegler. I wouldn’t have expected it.”

The doctor shrugs offhandedly as she takes her lab coat off and hangs it onto a hook. “Well, I live here. I don’t have anywhere else.”

Amelie frowns. “You don’t have an apartment, or family?”

Angela takes her hair out of it’s mostly ruined ponytail and shakes her head. “Nope.”

Amelie simply mutters a soft “oh” and the conversation ends.

Angela moves about the spacious living quarters getting ready for bed, entering the bathroom to change and moving into her bed. Amelie turns off the lights, and gets ready to leave.

“Wait, Amelie-”  _ What are you doing? You barely know this woman. You can’t ask her to- _

“Yes, Dr. Ziegler?”

“Call me Angela.”

Amelie smiles softly. “Goodnight, Angela.” and shuts the door on her way out, leaving Angela to plunge into an uncomfortably blank sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

They did end up going to dinner, like the couple had insisted. And the days before? Amelie had come by her office  _ every day for lunch.  _ She kept rescheduling that dinner as often as possible, to be honest.  She just knew she was getting herself into trouble, somehow. The dinner finally ended up being nearly two months later, in which Amelie and Gerard cornered her at her office and told her they were going out. She smiled politely and tried to decline,  _ I’ve got too much paperwork,  _ she tried, but Jack told them she was all caught up.  _ I really need to look over this sample,  _ she said. However a quick look into her lab showed that she had none currently sitting. She feigned ignorance and simply forgetting, which Gerard,-bless his sweet soul, he didn’t notice how flustered the blonde doctor felt herself becoming. Eventually, she ran out of excuses.  _ Fine.  _ she said.  _ But I’m paying my half of the bill.  _ Her tone left no room for argument. Which is how she found herself behind her door, chest heaving with the effort she exerted to get herself around it.   Angela had felt herself slowly falling for those soft hazel eyes, and she groaned to herself every time she thought about it. So now  flustered woman  was in her quarters, trying to figure out how to make herself look neat and presentable while running on the least sleep she’s had in weeks.  With her experiments, that  _ fiend  _ breathing down her neck, paperwork, and generally avoiding sleep to not even touch the things she sees there, she’s exhausted. However now that she cannot back out of this, she doesn’t want to let Amelie down.  She finally decides on a dress she wore only once, to a charity banquet and had never touched it again. A velvet red dress with a slit up the side, but not high enough to be improper. Adding black heels and a small clutch, and it was an elegant outfit. She placed her hair into a bun and looked into the mirror before checking her watch.

It was 18:50, meaning that Gerard and Amelie would be expecting her to be ready soon. She held her head against her hands, back against the door. She hoped her top-secret experiment wouldn’t get in the middle of the dinner, that would be a shame. A soft frown almost graced her face when she was startled out of her reverie by a knock on her quarter door from the inside of her office.  “Coming!” she called out, grabbing the black clutch from her bed and moving towards the door. She almost wishes she hadn’t.

In front of her was Amelie, in a black dress similar to hers, with her black hair straightened and falling down her shoulders and beautiful lips painted red. Her breath was stolen from her lungs _._ Angela noted how Amelie looked at her, eyes dilating and taking in every inch of skin that the blonde doctor’s dress allowed, but quickly shook off the thought. But the idea of it being something else had her heart speeding up.

“Ready to go,  _ cherie?” _ Amelie’s voice was like soft velvet, the texture of her dress, and almost made her knees go weak. She nodded, not trusting her voice, and was lead out of her office. Amelie talked about the restaurant they were going to, and how much Gerard and her absolutely love it, but she felt like she was underwater. She just hoped the wine she would hopefully get when they arrived at the restaurant would keep her awake.

* * *

It made her more alert, to say the least. Angela noticed everything, when Amelie swallowed, when she made eye contact with her, when her eyes trailed up the skin of  Angela’s soft legs, how she drank her in and made eye contact with every word. 

Gerard smiled easily, always happy in the company of his wife and a good friend. “So, Angela, how has it been this week? I know you’ve been swamped,” he says the words with the tone of someone who’s also had a busy week, and then she remembers the multiple missions Gerard has been leading.

She lets out a soft laugh easily, putting her elbow on the table after placing her wine glass back down. “Most of it has been because of you,  _ Freund.” _

He smiles bashfully, rubbing a hand on his neck. “Well, you know. Some of the new recruits haven’t listened very well lately.”

She goes to take another sip of her wine, but sees Amelie watching her, with something unknown in her eye. She’s hit with a wave of dizziness and blinks.  _ You knew this may happen,  _ Angela reasons.

“Doctor? Are you quite alright?”

Amelie’s voice snaps her out of the trance she had been in and she sees both Gerard and Amelie staring worriedly at her. She waves her hand and stretches,  arm and hand shaking just a enough to cause worry in the eyes of her workmate and friend as she does.

“No, no! Don’t worry,” she smiles. “Just.. a new experiment I’m working on. Has some side effects.” Gerard frowns.

“Would this experiment be the same one that’s messing with your functioning?” Her head snaps to Amelie, who had spoken quietly but clearly. Gerard looks confused.

“Angela?”

“It’s nothing, Gerard, really-”

Amelie cuts her off. “The Strike Commander was arguing with you about your sleep and taking care of yourself. Is it because of the experiment?”

She sighs. “Yes, I believe so. However, I’ve never gotten much sleep anyway. It’s..” She trailed off, unsure how to continue. “If I can figure out my experiment, I can change the field of medical science. Perhaps on a revolutionary scale!”

Gerard didn’t seem convinced, opening his mouth to say something when his wife laid a hand on his arm.

“But at what cost to you, Angela? What if it’s permanent?”

Of course, Angela had considered that. She knew the possible issue if this backfired. She knew the problems if it  _ didn’t  _ backfire. She had calculated the risks. She knew what she was doing.

“I know what I’m doing,” was what she decided on. Looking at the time, she was startled to see how late it was. “I’m sorry, my dear friends, but I have to get back to base. Goodnight to you both.” She gave Gerard a hug a kiss on the cheek, a friendly gesture, and tried to leave it at a hug for Amelie but Amelie hugged her tightly, laughed a laugh like a melody and kissed the corner of her lips.

“Oops,” she murmured, Gerard still turned, dealing with the bill. Angela presses a flutter of a kiss to Amelie’s cheek before nearly slapping down her half of the bill and, as gracefully as possible- _ high tailing it out of the restaurant. _

She decided walking to base would be best, and it was a very nice night. She arrived to her office and put her clutch on her desk, sighing. Amelie would be the death of her. So gorgeous and sweet and caring- that was it. She would end this friendship with the other woman immediately, so she doesn’t get hurt. She doesn’t want to pine for her friend’s wife and be left with something unrequited.

As Angela got ready to check her blood levels, somewhere in the back of her mind the door opening and closing it registered, however she didn’t pay attention. Whoever it was could wait, she just had to finish one more thing on this piece of paper-

“Something the matter, Doctor?”

Angela is nearly scared out of her skin when she feels the hot breath against her ear, and the warmth suddenly behind her. “Amelie!” She gasps, “you startled me.”

“Oh, silly me. It appears I did,” she murmured, lips brushing Angela’s ear.

“What are you doing here?” Angela wondered how she got here so fast, considering Angela had walked the three blocks back to base and they were supposed to have gone home.  _ I suppose it’s plausible.  _ Angela thought.  _ I’ve been working on this formula for a bit. _

“Gerard had to talk with someone, before heading out on his next mission, it’s no matter to me. But,” she punctuated her word by grabbing Angela’s hips and pulling her flush against her. “I saw how you looked at me tonight,  _ cherie.” _

Barely containing her gasp, Angela breathed out, “How did I.. look at you?”

Amelie nuzzled her neck softly, placing an open mouthed kiss there. “The same way I looked at you. Mon dieu, Angela. Your dress drove me crazy.” The words sent tingles down Angela’s spine, and she caught herself quickly, attempting to pull away, but Amelie held firm, pressing kisses on her neck. She quickly felt herself losing control, and tried to regain her bearings.

“Amelie, you can’t,  _ oh,”  _ she gasped softly when Amelie added her teeth into the mix before softly soothing the area. “Amelie, you’re  _ married!” _

The words seemed to stop Amelie momentarily, but she seemed to think it over quite fast. “It’s no matter, cherie.” she murmured.  _ “ _ I noticed how you looked at me when I walked into your office, and how you blushed whenever I caught you staring during our lunches. I know you want me. But you want to know what?”

Amelie’s hands became wanderers and nails softly raked themselves up Angela’s sides, underneath her breasts before coming to rest on top of them. “I want  _ you, too..” _

Angela could barely contain herself, feeling as if she’s on cloud nine. “Amelie, you have to.. _ mein gott..”  _ Amelie squeezed one of her breasts and she threw her head back against the taller woman. “You have to  _ stop,”  _ She struggled to get the words out, but they sounded weak even to her own ears.

“Do you really want me to,  _ mon ange?”  _ Angela made a split second decision to be selfish, and she gave in.

“No,” she moaned the word, letting herself completely fall against Amelie.

She felt those perfect lips smile against her neck. “ _ Parfait.” _ She growled, turning Angela towards her and crashing their lips together. Angela moaned and Amelie slipped her tongue into her mouth, completely devouring her. Bodies pressed together, a hand caressing her chest, and the blonde woman felt like she might just die from how perfect this is.

“Bedroom,” she murmured, and let out a startled yelp as the dancer lifted her up, instinctively putting her legs around her waist.  _ She’s a lot stronger than she looks.  _ She thought absentmindedly before lips were on hers again, pressed up against the door of her living quarters. Her hips blindly grinded, trying to gain any traction they could, but Amelie wasn’t having it. 

“None of that, now,” she murmured, one perfectly manicured hand softly caressing her thigh to draw out soft hums. “You’ll get what you want eventually. Patience, mon ange.”

_ The pet name again.  _ She didn’t have too much time to dwell on it however, as she was brought to her bed and the rest was history.

History with the words “Amelie!” and “Mein Gott!” written all over it. Repeatedly.


	3. Chapter 3

Angela was never able to cut it off at once. Amelie was nothing if not persistent, and she was adamant she wanted the doctor. So over the weeks they laughed and shared stories, having lunches when Gerard was away on missions. Most of her work had been on base anyway, so it worked.

* * *

  _Angela ran through the rubble. It was supposed to be an easy mission! Get the hostages out, quick and simple. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She had dirt and grease stains on her face as she called for backup, quickly preparing those who were able to return with wound dressings and tubes of nanobots. Commander Gabriel Reyes’ eyes widened at something behind her. “Angela, look out-!”_

_Angela had been shot in the side, and he caught her as she fell. His shotgun quickly pierced the chest of the man who shot her, and he looked helplessly at her body. His friend, the most talented scientist in the world, sitting here like this. He cried for backup, for help, and the evac unit arrived shortly, taking Angela from him. With her hair splayed about her head and lips slightly parted, eyes closed, she looked like an angel._

Which is how she found herself sitting up in a hospital bed slowly, watching Amelie fight with some staff about coming to see her. “I’m fine,” she swatted at the hospital staff that usually worked under her. “Don’t fret.”

Amelie saw she was awake and pushed past the doctors. “Angela, mon ange, you scared me so horribly.” Upon closer inspection it appeared Amelie had tear tracks going down her face. “What happened?”

“I got shot, it seems.” Avoiding the issue is a good way to start, right?

“More than that,” a hospital staffer chimed in. “You should be dead, Dr. Ziegler. But when we removed the bullet, your body.. It healed itself. Like magic.”

A grin formed on Angela’s face. “It did?” The excitement was evident in her voice, clearly happy. She attempted to rip the blankets off of her, but got stuck by the stiffness and pain in her side. She quickly undid the IV and slowly got off of the bed.

She made it to her desk across the room, considering the infirmary was connected to her office. Quickly drawing up holovids and written papers alike, she furiously began writing things and cross referencing information. A grin spread on Angela Ziegler’s face. Amelie stood, face a storm cloud of fear and anger.

“Could you give us a minute?” Amelie requested of the staff, who looked at each other at Amelie’s cold tone, before nodding.

“You’re _happy?_ I could’ve lost you! And you’re happy about what-” her voice falters. “It’s that experiment, isn’t it? Mon dieu, Angela, what _did you do?”_

Angela grinned wider. “I did _it,_ Amelie! With the technology I created now in my body, it’s creating nanobots and disposing of them all on it’s own. I self-heal at an accelerated rate. I wonder what other effects it may have..” she trailed off at the end, voice becoming a murmur.

Amelie lost it. “Is that all you’re focused on?! I could’ve _lost you, Angela! Mon ange,”_ her eyes watered and the tears began falling again, and Angela quickly swept her into her arms.

“Don’t fret, _schatz,”_ she murmured. “I am right here.”

“What a _touching_ reunion, Angela.” She stiffened immediately in Amelie’s arms, wincing at the soreness that caused. _Another kink to work out with the bots,_ she reasoned, but shook herself out of it. Stepping out of Amelie’s embrace, she straightened her hair and lab coat.

“That’s Dr. Ziegler to you, Moira.” The words were soft but biting, and Amelie looked between the two women curiously.

“Aw, pet, don’t say that,” there was a faux-pout on the tall woman’s face, reaching out to trail a manicured nail down Angela’s cheek. “I believe I’ve called you quite a lot-”

“That is quite enough, Dr. O'Deorain!” Angela’s voice held a note of frustration. “What do you want, Moira?” The question was tired and bored.

“I heard you got shot today, I simply wanted to..” She paused. “Inspect.”

“A lovely place to inspect, hm? You’ve seen me. I’m fine. Get _out.”_

Turning away from Moira, she went to fix some papers on her desk. Yes, it was true that Moira wasn’t publicly supported by Overwatch. However, it was a secret Gabriel begged her to keep- hiring Moira for Blackwatch.

“Are you sure you want me to? _I know what you did.”_ That froze her in her tracks. What was she referring to? Her heart raced.

“Oh? And what would that be?” The doctors voice held a note of fear in it, something Amelie noted immediately, stepping closer to the doctor.

“I know how you got your research for those little nanobots running through your body, Angela. Wouldn’t Strike Commander Morrison be upset? What about your _morals?”_ The words were snarled in Angela’s ear as the red haired geneticist got closer to Angela.

“I think it’s time you go.” Amelie stepped between the two, tone cold and firm. Moira stared her down, but she held. Arms crossed and looking pointedly towards the door.

Growling, she turned and whipped open the door. “This isn’t done, Angela.” The door slammed behind her, and Angela visibly relaxed, slouching against her desk. Amelie turned around, and placed her hands on her shoulders.

“Angela, mon ange.. What did she mean?” The blonde stiffened again, and she didn’t speak for a minute.

“I have.. Been conducting experiments on myself not approved by Overwatch." She bit her lip before adding. "As well as one of it’s members- who _consented.”_ She was quick to add on the end.

Amelie hummed, processing the information. “Okay.”

Angela turned, baffled. “‘Okay’? You’re not.. I don’t know, worried I’m some sort of mad scientist?”

Amelie chuckled and pulled Angela close to her, head against Amelie’s chest and a hand on her collarbone. “Oh, mon ange. You could never be a ‘mad scientist’. You just want to help humanity. I believe in you,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to her head. "Will you tell me who that woman was?"

Angela hummed a non-committal answer and sighed softly when she heard Gerard calling for Amelie, curling into the warmth Amelie provided for a few extra seconds. They had to part too soon and she watched Amelie's back leave the room a few minutes later. As she sat down to work, a pit formed in her stomach, curling unpleasantly. Unbeknownst to her, that pit had cut a tear and implanted itself into her brain, creating a void full of doubt and resignation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I edited the last chapter and added this so it wasn't so rushed, enjoy! I'll be updating the second part to this series later in the week if I feel better.

That void spread, creating an empty hole in Angela’s stomach. Amelie came for lunch every day she could, and Angela threw herself head first into her work. She worked herself ragged as opposed to the months where she had begun to sleep a little bit more, eat regularly (at Amelie’s insistence) and feel real joy. Now, all she felt was guilt.

“So you _are_ screening my calls.” An accusing voice called out from behind her. Angela startled and almost dropped the vial she had just finished- which had taken three straight hours of precision to do, and swore.

“Verdammt, why did you have to sneak up on me like that?” Angela kept her back turned, fiddling with different things on one of the various cluttered desks in her lab.

“Answer the question,” Amelie demanded. Angela sighed and put down her project and took off her glasses, but still didn’t turn around.

“I’ve been busy.” Even to her own ears, the words sounded hollow and fake, and caused her stomach to churn uneasily. She sounded tired, and if Amelie had looked closer she would’ve noticed that when she fell asleep next to Angela, Angela did not. But she hadn’t looked closer, and she wouldn’t.

“Really? You haven’t been screening my calls and telling Jack Morrison to tell me you were away on missions when you’re really holed up in your office working?”

“I’ve been busy, Amelie. And I have been on missions. I’m not looking to pick a fight with you.” Which was true, she had been volunteering for more missions lately. Amelie wasn’t having any of it, however.

“Why won’t you even look at me?!” She stormed over to Angela and grabbed her shoulder, turning her around to face her. Amelie gasped as she took it in. Angela’s eyes were tired and red and just _empty._

“Mon ange…” she whispered, hand hesitantly coming up to brush against a pale cheek. Angela said nothing, but stared downwards. Two fingers came up softly to push the doctor’s head upward and Amelie searched her eyes for a clue, to know what had reduced Angela to this.

Angela pushed away from her, shaking her head and moving towards the door of her lab. Amelie grabbed her arm and Angela turned around, eyes blank and mouth forming a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s nothing, Amelie, really. Just close to a breakthrough.” The lie slipped through her teeth so fluidly she could’ve believed it herself if she hadn’t felt the gnawing guilt and longing every time Amelie left her or Gerard was around.

“I refuse to believe that.” Amelie was stubborn, and Angela sighed. She placed her glasses on her desk.

“It’s the truth. I don’t know what other answer you’re searching for. I’m just-” She was cut off by a sudden wave of dizziness, and her body swayed. She grabbed onto her desk to try and right herself quickly, but missed. She braced herself, preparing to hit the hard floor (not for the first time this week) and opened her eyes after a few seconds, confused and dizzy.

Amelie was staring at her with a mixture of concern and frustration, a frown etched on her face. “Angela, are you okay-” Angela interrupted her by turning her body, albeit sluggishly, towards the trash bin in her office, releasing the little lunch she had eaten. Her eyes watered and she heaved until there was nothing left, while Amelie awkwardly tried to adjust her body and rub her back.

When she calmed her breathing, she took a deep breath and looked up at Amelie. Concern and care were written plainly on the other woman's face, and she choked out a sob, which she covered with her hand. Before Amelie could question it, however, Angela’s vision clouded. “Amelie,” she said frantically. “My closet, my staff-” Amelie immediately set Angela down gently and ran to the closet to grab her staff. “Not that one.” Angela said, pointing behind the first one. Indeed, right behind it was a new, slimmer version of her staff that Amelie had never seen before.

The moment it was in her hands, Angela could’ve cried with relief. She was flooded with the rays provided from the staff, topical nanobots entering her body and disposing of the old ones that had malfunctioned. “Still.. Working out some kinks.” The tall woman gave her a ‘we’ll discuss this later’ look, before carefully picking the doctor up bridal style. Angela, too tired to argue, weakly clutched her staff as they made their way to her room.

“Set me down.” The words were spoken softly but Amelie heard them and softly put her down. Angela made her way to the bathroom attached to her room, using her staff as a crutch. She brushed her teeth violently and rinsed before making her way back to the main part of her room, collapsing on the bed, dropping the prototype on the floor beside her. Amelie opened her mouth to say something but it snapped shut and she stood unsure in the middle of Angela’s room, finally deciding on climbing into bed with her and rubbing small circles into her back.

“So,” Amelie’s voice brought Angela out of the near sleep she was in. “You really have been.. Busy?” She sounded skeptical.

“Yes, Amelie. I’ve been working on some new things.”

 While the malfunctioned nanobots definitely weren't pleasant, it provided her an out. Thank god for timing, right?

* * *

 Unfortunately, it didn’t get better from there. Amelie was satisfied with the answer previously, however it was now glaringly obvious Angela was avoiding her.

Angela barely looked up from the paperwork she was holding when Amelie stormed in three weeks later. “Good afternoon, Amelie. Wonderful weath-” Two strong hands grabbed Angela by the lapels of her lab coat and slammed their lips together. Angela’s knees went weak and they hesitantly came to thread themselves in her lover’s hair, while that pit in her stomach made itself known. She tried to step away from Amelie, get space between them, but she simply maneuvered them closer to the wall and pinned her there. Both of their chests were heaving, Amelie’s eyes were wild and breath was mingling.

“What..” She rasped out. “What was that?”

Amelie smirked despite her frustration. “Had to make you pay attention to me.”

Angela sighed. “Well, you’ve got it now. What do you need, liebling?” The word slipped out and Amelie’s eyes widened slightly.

“You haven’t called me that in weeks,” the words were spoken so softly, the doctor almost didn’t make them out.

“I..” _End it. End it now!_ “I’m sorry, Amelie. I don’t know what’s been wrong with me.”

Amelie’s eyes pleaded with her for an answer, but she had none. Not any she was willing to share, anyway.

Angela moulded their lips together firmly and felt two hands previously pinning her come to rest on her waist, holding her close. The blonde took Amelie’s face in her hands as she kissed her deeply but gently, trying to convey what she felt without having to say it.

Eventually, they had to part for air. “Come,” she said quietly, leading Amelie by the hand to her room.

* * *

 They went back to having sex regularly, and Angela forced more and more smiles onto her face. She saw Amelie more despite the toll it took on her heart. She avoided Gerard as much as possible without arousing suspicion to avoid the guilt she felt. _Today’s the day._ The blonde had already decided. _I can’t do this anymore._

When Amelie came in for lunch that afternoon, her eyes held a different type of hunger, and internally Angela sighed. It would be hard to get this out. The ballerina reached for Angela to pull her into a kiss, but she made it a hug instead. “We need to talk.”

Amelie smiled deviously, not having caught on yet. “I’m sure we can do that after I’m through-”

Angela pushed herself out of her grip. “This has to end, Amelie.” The words startled Amelie into silence.

“W-What? Angela, surely you don’t mean that-”

“I do! This has gone on long enough. We cannot continue this. You look at me.. You don’t love me, Amelie. You’re married, and I have my work.. I can’t focus on you. I’m sorry. You’ve made me happy these past months, in more ways than one. But I can’t… I can’t.”

Amelie stared at her. “How dare you,” she fumed “Goddammit, Angela, _I love you!”_

She froze, entire body stiff. “You- what?” She laughed nervously. “You don’t mean that.”

Amelie grabbed Angela’s face between her hands. “Of course I do. I am in love with you, _Doctor._ You make me feel alive.”

Angela turned away, tears in her eyes. “I love you too, Amelie.” She took in a ragged breath. “But that’s why we can’t be together.”

Amelie made a noise of frustration. “And just why not?!”

“In case you haven’t forgotten, you’re _married,_ for christ sake. Mein gott, Amelie. Would you leave him for me, if I asked? Would you?”

The words stunned Amelie into silence, and she looked down, hesitating. “If I had some tim-”

“No. You wouldn’t. The fact that you hesitated says it all. I cannot love you and be with you on lunch dates and in my room when your husband is away. I refuse,” she said the words with a voice full of emotion. “I’ve been rotting away in this _affair,”_ she spat out the words, “for months. Have you even noticed? I love you so much that it’s tearing me apart. The guilt is consuming me and I become more jealous each day.” Amelie’s eyes watered and Angela’s heart broke to see it.

“Angela, mon ange, please-”

“No, Amelie, _no.”_

In an attempt to salvage this, not willing to lose Angela, she spun the doctor around and pressed their lips together desperately. Salty tears and lips met and it was messy, raw, and needy. Angela poured everything into that kiss- _I love you I love you I love you._

 She broke away, chest heaving and tears slowed. “You must go, _liebling.”_

 Amelie’s swollen eyes and puffy lips showed heartbreak, and she left the room without another word, slamming the door as the red haired geneticist had done before. She collapsed onto the floor of her office, heart wrenching sobs forcing their way out of her body.

 That was the night Amelie went missing.


End file.
